whirlwind

I've been busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

I've been working 3 jobs and haven't even paid my stupid bills yet, and it's the NINTH! (none of them are late, but get paid the 1st of every month) You'd think that with one full time job and two part timers, I'd be rollin. NOt so. I am a terrrible manager of $$. I can pay what I owe and everything, I can even do stuff--but I just got a $1000 dollar phone bill from the fiasco this summer, so I've got THAT goin for me. I give it away. Money, I mean. Well, I give THAT away too, but not so much, anymore...that's a whole other blog entry--anyway.
I own a house and a car. Nothing fancy. But nice, yes. I buy shoes. and lately a few new clothing items, (I know I shouldn't boast) but with some recent weight loss, I am hotter than ever! (well, maybe not hotter than college--but that was the 80's, we were all hot then) I have a small savings account and a modest retirement thingy in place...and I really believe that hoarding $$ takes up space where new money can go; which translates into, whatever/whoever needs it, gets it. Sometimes I give money to the guy with the sign on the side of the road, sometimes I give it to a kid at school who asks for it, sometimes I treat a friend to a sushi dinner. Then there was the root canal...who plans for those??? I always manage to make it...one way or another. There is this 4-day leadership seminar that I really wanted to go to, but couldn't swing until NOvember ...somehow I am going this month.
I just don't have a big reserve. I couldn't go to Vegas this weekend if I wanted to...well....I guess I COULD--but you know what I mean, don't you?
And all this, and I haven't really even done much for Katrina relief. That weighs heavily on my mind, too. (I'm not a ditz, I swear--but did you notice the font change? I inadvertently hit some key and now we have this)
I don't think that worrying is productive. I know I've got to do something. I'm thinking this class will give me an idea about a different more profitable path. as Cindy Lauper says..."money changes everything"...I don't know about all that.
Damn, I'm rambling.
I was bawling my head off this morning.
After my Kiwanis meeting(which, next week ends my yearlong tenure as Club President) I was on my way to work. Almost there. And then, there she was. The cutest kitten. all black with white little feet. trotting out into the road. Busy street. Saw her in my rear view window. Rolling, but back on her feet. not even six months old. Zooming through my mind that I am so allergic to cats now that Macy is gone (had her for 14 years) but I'll go get this kitty and take her home with me today. I couldn't find a turn around place. there was so much damned traffic. I found a street and pulled off. It was a long way back up to where she was. I hope she didn't run off. How would I find her? Then I saw her. little limp baby kitty in the road. (Of course I'm crying right now.) I went out there and scooped her up. Not flattened. but clearly dead. shoulders heaving. tears streaming down. I laid her on the median, then decided I couldn't just leave her there. so I scooped her back up again and carried her back to my car. I drove with her in one hand. nobody to hear me sobbing over the radio. I couldn't leave her in the car all day. my friend malinda, the school nurse, had a shoebox for some reason, so I lined it with papertowels. I couldn't leave her in the car all day. don't get grossed out. even if you do. she's been here in the box, in the book case behind my desk all morning. In an hour it'll be lunch time, I guess I'll go home and bury her. Nobody knows she's here, but me, you and Malinda.
I wonder what gift we had for each other; little kitty and I.
I wonder why I was crying so hard.
I'm ok now. Not really even sad. Just wondering.
's Friday. I've got all weekend to figure it out.
missed you...


You think I'm a kook, don't you?